Oh, don't you just want to pinch those chubby cheeks?! Little rascal. 

Remember, if you wish to show your love and devotion to Damien, you could always hang yourself out of a window...

...but I wouldn't recommend it. Instead, just get him a little Rottweiler friend (no baboons, please) to help you protect him and stay out of his way when he's trying to get rid of his enemies, i.e. another child inside his adoptive mamma's belly.

Oh, look how nonchalant he is about his conquests. Our Damien is going to grow up to be one strong and powerful man. He makes me so proud! Okay, all together now: