In what is supposed to be a futuristic Spain, a man named Dante escapes from illegal immigrant lockup to go in search of his girlfriend Ula. Dante's trip is made more challenging by the vicious half-robotic Rottweiler dog chasing him through the country, attacking and maiming whomever stands in his way.

Doesn't sound all that bad, right? Killer robot dog? Yeah, that's what I thought too. But somebody went off in a complete wrong direction with that premise and produced a movie that is slow, boring, nonsensical, badly acted, and utterly retarded in almost every way. I'll give it .5 points for the shooting of some pretty nice-looking locations - then I'll take that half point away for claiming that this movie takes place in the future and never once shows us anything futuristic looking. An isolated house where people still hang their clothes outside to dry? A seedy red light district? Dang, I can't wait for the future!

The movie isn't even really about the Rottweiler chasing Dante. It's more of a side plot and one that is not even remotely as exciting as it should be. Take that dog out of the equation and replace it with plain old cops or something and all you have is a drama movie about a dude on the run, trying to find his long lost love. L-A-M-E. Oh! And for some reason that is never explained, Dante can't seem to remember the details of just what happened when he "lost" or "left" Ula somewhere. No idea. Can't remember. It happened like a year ago and this is supposedly the love of his life but he can't remember a big event such as (sorry to spoil the ending here - wait, no I'm not because none of you are going to watch this POS are you?) his girlfriend being raped by some sleazy guy and then killed by his dog? Don't believe it.

Actually, going back to the problem of the badly represented "futuristic" Spain, the Rottweiler is the only indication of future technology or whatever. Again, no explanation is given as to how the Rottweiler got that way (jeebus, could they at least have given the dog a name so I don't have to keep calling him Rottweiler?) seeing as how he was just a normal dog in the flashback where he killed Ula. Apparently after Dante beat the shit out of the dog, his owner called got all pissed and made him a robot! Yeah, that explanation works. Sure.

Thought the Rottweiler eats and/or attacks a lot of people throughout the course of the movie, even those parts are not good enough to save Rottweiler. The dog was trained well and gives a nice ferocious performance but his attack scenes are lackluster. Nothing all that inventive, just growling and screaming and blood and innards and close ups of the dog eating a fake human body. Ho-hum. The gore work is okay but there's nothing new or suspenseful in any of the death scenes.

So what I'm trying to say here is that I'm pretty pissed off that somebody would make a movie called Rottweiler, have it star a half-robotic killer dog and then give me 90 minutes of an annoying dude with a bad haircut and no memory wandering around from place to place, meeting more strange and annoying people and getting them killed. THAT SUCKS. Again, why would you even include a Rottweiler chasing this guy when it could have easily just been some corrupt prison official making Dante's life hell? It just makes no sense with the core story.

Okay, now I feel a little bad. I usually try to include something positive about every movie I see, just 'cause I'm a nice person. So I'll give it a point for the ending showdown between Dante and the Rottweiler, which has now been burned up and all that remains is a metal skeleton. That was fairly cool and the graphics were well done.

This movie, however, will NOT get points for any of the following: the awkward dialogue; Dante running around naked for 10 minutes; the more-than-awkward sex scene between Dante and a woman he has known for less than 10 minutes; the close up shot of a chicken screaming before it is attacked by the Rottweiler; or the random appearance of several scorpions throughout the film, as if they were symbolic or some shit.

Rottweiler really could have been so much cooler than it turned out to be. But with a script that doesn't seem to know where it's going or how it got there in the first place, all we have is a mess of a movie that just so happens to have a killer robot dog in it. Nothing else makes sense or is even the least bit enjoyable to watch in any way.