Looks like my next Herschell Gordon Lewis experience came quicker than I expected, seeing as how a certain internet DVD service flat-out refuses to send me The Howling. It's been a "very long wait" for about two months now so I'm thinking I'm just going to have to buy it, though I don't recall liking it enough the first time for purchase. Anyway, I have to watch what they send me, and The Gruesome Twosome was next on the list. The Gruesome Twosome may have a fantastic title that I absolutely love saying, but it is a movie that does not live up to that title in the least. But it's still fucking awesome. Damn you, Herschell, and your terrible but strangely entertaining movies.

Young co-eds are disappearing in an unnamed college town and oddly enough, the perpetrator is kindly old Mrs. Pringle, who runs a local wig shop, and her mentally challenged son, Rodney. He kills and scalps the girls so mama can carry on with business, but now someone is catching on to them. Another nosy co-ed is determined to solve the mystery of the disappearances.

Holy crap, so many WTF scenes in this movie. And it starts right at the beginning. The opening scene before the credits is as odd as they come, consisting of two mannequin heads with wigs and cut-out construction paper faces basically talking about the plot of the movie about to start. I couldn't even hear what they were saying half the time because I was laughing so hard. Absolutely pointless filler? Indeed. Wonderful in its silliness? Undoubtedly. Oh, but the WTF was not even close to being over with this scene. Still plenty more to look forward to.

But... we have to introduce some kind of plot first. As the first real scene shows, Mrs. Pringle's operation goes something like this: she advertises a room for rent in her wig shop, a girl with a nice head of hair comes by inquiring about it, Pringle introduces her to her stuffed cat Napoleon (more on that later), then sends her into a room behind the wig shop where Rodney waits to attack and scalp. All the girls that we see meet this fate just sort of wander around without fighting back or anything so they kinda deserve to die for being so r-tarded.

Then we meet one of the most annoying characters ever, Kathy, the college girl who seems to be obsessed with solving mysteries - which we find out because several characters say something to that effect several times throughout the movie. Her boyfriend Dave has a habit of throwing a bitch fit every time Kathy says something that doesn't involve her tongue in his mouth so he instantly becomes the second most annoying character ever. Kathy only becomes involved with Pringle and Rodney because her friend Dawn is looking for a place off-campus, so we know that she's going to die and Kathy's going to go looking for her because she's nosy and annoying.

But honestly, screw the plot. I really just want to talk about the other WTF stuff. Case in point: Napoleon. The stuffed jaguar or whatever the hell it is in Mrs. Pringle's house that she talks to all the time. Of course it's probably there to add to the overall ridiculous nature and black comedy of the movie, but Mrs. Pringle herself pretty much takes care of most of that. Kudos to this actress for her commitment, as her comedic performance definitely made the movie a lot more bearable. Pringle shoots off these crazy lines full of wisdom and tropes, always asking affirmation from Napoleon. And nobody who encounters her has the heart to call her a crazy bitch. How nice.

More WTF occurs at the drive-in movie. Kathy and Dave are necking in the car, but the far more interesting part of this scene is the movie they are watching. I don't know what the hell kind of movie this is supposed to be. I am, however, interested in seeing the rest of it if there is more. The movie is a headless man and woman sitting at a dinner table (headless because the camera never fully shows their faces), and the woman is saying all kinds of clingy and womany shit to the man, Terrence, who only seems interested in the food on the table. He crushes the potato chips, scarfs a banana, takes a bit out of an apple, crushes a peach... not listening to anything the woman is saying (understandably, too). Lewis intercuts all this weird shit with shots of Kathy and Dave but for some reason this movie takes precedence in this scene - more filler is my only guess. Again, I could not stop laughing, especially when the woman started fondling her beer glass. Too fucking funny.

The whole thing ends rather unceremoniously when Douchey Dave brings the police to Pringle's house just as Kathy is about to get it from Rodney. She pokes him in the eye with a hat pin, they show his gooey eye in closeup and then... he dies. I don't really remember how. A short epilogue scene shows the wig shop closed and then there's a random shot of Napoleon to end it all. An hour and twelve minutes of pure WTF and nobody could have done it better than Herschell, I swear to goodness. This man is a genius of bad movies and I love him for it. Beyond "so bad it's good," The Gruesome Twosome is cinematic gold at its best... worst... it sucks, but it's awesome... you know what I mean.

Two Thousand Maniacs, be prepared to meet my DVD player very soon.

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